An Unconventional Desire
Copyright © 2018 by April Andrews
Joss shuddered. ‘Unconventional’, that was what he had always termed it in his mind. Wider society did not term it thus. To them it was ‘unnatural’, or ‘abhorrent’. And, if Joss was ever found out to be harboring such feelings both he and his family would be forever disgraced.
What if Nicholas was simply being friendly? What if he did not harbor the same feelings that Joss did? It was entirely possible. Joss had next to no experience of how other men reacted when they felt like this. What if Joss had confused the whole thing in his mind and Nicholas realized? He would be disgusted. Outraged even. And, then the rumors would soon fly thick and heavy. Joss would have no choice but to flee back to his estate. And, whilst he did not have a problem with that, his parents and sister, her family too, would forever bare his disgrace.
Joss could not allow that to happen.
The only way to prevent it was to steer clear of Nicholas. No matter how much he wanted to see the other man—because God knew that he did—Joss had to stay away! That meant no dining together. Not tonight and not any other night either. Joss had to refuse to see the other man. There was no other way. But, what damn excuse could he make?
Joss paced the floor of his rooms as he considered that. It would all be so much easier if Nicholas had sent a card. Joss could just have ignored it. Or better yet, if Nicholas had issued his invite with others around them, Joss could have made an excuse that Nicholas—being a gentleman—would not have been able to call him out on. But, his quick invitation, followed by his hurried departure? Joss hadn’t time to refuse it, had been too confused to find the words, too busy trying to stop him cock from hardening, and now he was left like this.
Pacing his rooms.
His heart thumping.
His palms all hot and heavy as they considered the man who was due to arrive at any moment.
The man he wanted to touch.
Joss closed his eyes. His cock thickened once again. He cursed. Wishing the damn thing would just behave itself. It had been hardening for days, and despite the fact Joss had pulled it free more than once and stroked himself until he spent his seed, the release did not seem to satisfy him.
Only one thing would.
The one thing he could not have.
Now not.
Not ever.
The door opened behind him. Joss did not turn around. He crossed his arms, willing his cock to soften, even as he heard the words of his manservant Morley, his only servant here in the capital.
“Lord Hastings to see you, me’ lord.”
Joss’ cock jerked within his breeches. He kept his eyes shut tight as a shudder ran through him. How badly he wanted to see Nicholas. To look at him just one more time. To hear his voice. To feel him close by.
It was madness!
Sheer madness!
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